My New Toy

I've been taking guitar lessons for about 2 months. But, I've been playing guitar on this old, crappy guitar. The action is too big. The strings don't stay in tune. And it's just simply too big for me. But, it has worked thus far. So, I've been looking for a new guitar... or a like new guitar. I've scoured craigslist, ebay, asked around and couldn't find anything in my price range. Since I am taking an overseas trip in December, spending a few hundred more dollars on something I don't "need" seemed silly.

So, I'll wait.

In a brief passing conversation, I mentioned this to a person I know. They had a guitar and I offered to buy it (depending on the price) and take it off their hands. The hadn't played it since college and it was just an oversized door stop at this point. They brought it for me to check out and the instant I opened the case, I said to myself, " can't afford this."

It was shiny and in perfect condition. A couple of minor scratches on the back from use. A locking case, a tuner, an extra set of strings, a pack of picks, and a strap were in the case, too. "Now, I really can't afford this." I picked it up. Played one chord and fell in love... sort of. Remember, I can't afford this.

I try hard to not get too attached to the things I know I can't have.

So, because this person had taken the time out of their day and their busy schedule to lug this guitar to me, I asked... "How much do you want for it."

"Nothing." was their response. Nothing? No, really? Haha, not funny. That guitar is worth something.. a lot of somethings... not nothing. "No, really. Nothing. You can have it."

This is when I realized that I don't handle free gifts well. For my entire life, gifts have had strings attached. My dad always says when he buys us things that we need to give him another grandchild because he bought that for us. Really?

I tried to hide my joy, well, not really. I sort of jumped up and down. Astonished. Astonished that this person would give away a guitar. They don't need it, but I wanted it, so they gave it to me. To bless me. Simply no other reason than they wanted to do it.

My question now: "How do I receive this?" ... Just take it and say thank you. And then use it.

I have been pondering this whole series of events. This is where I've gotten: I don't receive free gifts well. I love giving gifts, but I don't really know how to receive them. My whole life the gifts I have received have had strings attached.

Then I got to thinking about God's love. He is so like this. His love is free. Unmerited. Unearned. And we do not deserve it. But He gives it. And He gives it in abundance. We just need to take it, say thank you, and then use it. We get the opportunity to take His love and then use His love.

I'll get it one day.

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." 1 John 4:9-10

Some People Change

The pastor at my church has been talking about different aspects of Jesus' character for the past few weeks. This past weekend, he talked about how Jesus believed that people can change.

Can they?

Peter went from a called fisherman to a denying disciple to the rock of the Christian church. And Jesus, in his first encounter with Peter in John's gospel, changes his name from Simon son of John to Cephas (which, when translated, is Peter). - John 1:35

Abram became Abraham. Sarai became Sarah. Jacob became Israel. Simon became Peter.

Jesus saw people for what they would become. He saw people at their full potential. He saw Peter as Peter, not as Simon, who would follow, deny, and then be a rock. Just Peter. Just a rock. Peter didn't even know he was a rock. And I'm sure as he watched Jesus do all the things that defied explanation, Peter questioned all kinds of stuff.

But when we've been hurt by someone, how do we hold onto the idea that they can change?

Jesus laid his life down because he believed people could change. He came solely because he believed people could change. He believed I could change. Jesus sees us and saw his disciples for what they would become, not what they were.

I get so stuck in a here and now mentality that I lose sight of what is coming. Our pain keeps us stuck in a here and now mentality, when someone hurts us, I think we lock them into the category of "you hurt me".

But what does it take to put them in a different category?

There are a hundred abstract things I could put here. They include: forgiveness, love, patience, time, a miracle... and many more. But I want concrete. I want one relationship fixed. I want to go back out to coffee and things not be weird. I want to send text messages and get responses. I want to walk in the room and that person say hello. That's what I want. That's concrete. Yet, I have not succeeded at the abstract stuff yet... forgiveness, love, patience, time...

Maybe I'm the one who hasn't changed... And maybe my trasnformation, like hers, has to come from the inside out.

Philippians 1:6 "...being confident in this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

In Heaven, A Parade

Winston- Salem buried a fallen police officer yesterday. It is a sobering reality. One that hits far too close to home, for my sister is a police officer.

I stood in the rain yesterday on an overpass and watched hundreds of police cars, motorcycles and other vehicles take Sgt. Hutchens to his gravesite in Yadkinville. From Wait Chapel, down Silas Creek Pkwy and every exit down 421 was blocked with law enforcement and fire trucks. No one could get on the highway going in that direction. I'm sure traffic was backed up for miles... It was really quite incredible to watch. People on the opposite side of the highway got out of their vehicles with their hands on their hearts to honor him as he was headed to his final resting place.

In some ways, Winston shut down because it lost one of its defenders.

Don't we all want that? We want society to shut down in some form or fashion because we are not here anymore. I know I do. I want there to be a loss when I go. I want there to be a hole because I had so much to offer and because I meant something to this world.

I'm encouraged to know that Sgt Hutchens was a strong Christian. There was even an alter call at his funeral. His wife told my mom that God knows everyone's timing and that my sister should keep doing what she loves to do. She even told her that his parents were out at the police car witnessing to people as they left cards and flowers. That's how good comes out of evil.

Will hundreds of police cars escort me to my grave? Probably not. But hundreds of angels will welcome me into Heaven. On earth, we get a processional. In Heaven, we get a parade :)